Get Yer Ya-Ya’s Out!

One word: boobs.

From a writing standpoint, the canny thing to do is capitalize on an opening like that and not lose momentum (and your readers). However, I realized after my first blog post that I was opening this up to readers beyond the followers of my Facebook and Live Journal and should probably introduce myself. My name is Suzanne or Sue (Ms. Jackson if you’re Nasty) and I live in Oklahoma. I majored in English, procrastinated at writing, and I married an amazing guy who has gleefully (yes, gleefully!) read every word I have ever written as it was being written and offered glowing critiques even if they were just, “You know, babe, what really made that paragraph sing was your understanding of the proper usages of ‘which’ and ‘that.'” Together we have a three-year-old son and a house full of geek.

I should also note that I began this blog three days before we leave for a Disney vacation and that this will therefore be the last entry for a week or so. Those of you who know me well are saying yes, yes, we know all of this, you’ve reminded us daily that you’re going to see the Mouse, now, I believe you were saying something about boobs?

Little something for the ladies.

I hadn’t planned to do thematic entries (although I’m not sure why; I’m a former cheerleader and pick-a-committee-chairperson from the mid-south: give me a theme and I’ll beat it into the ground) but I had planned to offer exercise, health and fashion information I’ve found useful in my better health journey and I really wanted to blog a bra recommendation and this seemed the most seamless (seamless, get it?) way to do it. Other entries will be a grab-bag (a Cuisinart, if you will) of topics because I’m unpredictable and mysterious like that (total lie on the mystery: a box of Samoas and I’ll tell you anything you want to know).

Healthy weight or over-weight, my body type is a genetic anomaly from my mother’s side of narrow-hipped, generously breasted women. Fashion-wise, it’s like trying to dress an open umbrella. In my heavier days, trying to attempt a strapless bra was verboten beyond needing one 20 years ago for my wedding gown. My experience with strapless bras for women above a C-cup was that the chest band was supportive and compressing (uh, I get plenty of calcium, I don’t need my ribs lifted and separated, but thanks?) while the cups were, in the words of the Motor City Madman, a free-for-all (you can bet your life!).

Having worked on toning my upper arms (a problem area for me) and shoulders and wishing to wear halters, tanks and tops with shoulder-slits, a strapless bra was de rigueur since my bosom laughs in the face of shelf-bras and “built-in cups.” Through much trial and error (and dressing room mirror horrors that either looked like DIY porn or World Health Organization breast-feeding PSAs) I found my MacGuffin (all geek references can be decrypted at urbandictionary.com).

Lilyette (by Maidenform) Strapless Bra with Convertible Straps

The Lilyette Strapless Bra by Maidenform ($25-$35) is perfection in Nylon. Affordable, sleek, un-padded and lightly lined and most importantly, guaranteed to STAY IN PLACE. It’s the stacked chick’s invitation to wiggle wiggle wiggle on the dance floor with no fear of it inching down to your ankles mid-shimmy. It’s also COMFORTABLE. It wears like a bra, not an ace bandage or Xena boob-armor (hot as that might be). Hurrah for the bra!

In further yay, bewbs, yay! news, whole foods can do more than tone your tummy and shrink your britches size; fresh fruits and vegetables are also one the greatest super powers in promoting breast/chest health in both men and women. The leading breast cancer fighting foods are:

  • Broccoli
  • Cabbage
  • Brussels sprouts
  • Cauliflower
  • Leafy greens (collards, kale, spinach)
  • Carrots
  • Tomatoes
  • Citrus
  • Berries
  • Cherries

Source: Women’s Health @ About.com

Exercising regularly throughout your life and focusing on consistency and duration, not intensity, is also an overall healthy lifestyle choice that has been proven to reduce cancer risk.

This is one of my favorite breast/chest workouts for women. Breasts are composed of glands and fat (hey, guess who got an A in Bio!) so exercise doesn’t affect them, but it *can* target the surrounding muscle tissue and lift and tone and reduce or prevent sag. I like the following vid because the exercises are feasible for beginners and the fitness model is very anti-model. While she’s attractive, toned and very fit, she looks like she could have taught you to play the flugelhorn in 5th grade and not like she should be spam tweeting you “Hey I Need a Date: Check out my Pix!”

Plus, I’m an Anglophile and that accent slays me. And now our daily recipe: Baked Egg Cups. Get it? Cups? Oh, leave me alone; I figured chicken breast was too on the nose, so to speak, and besides I did those last time.

BAKED EGG CUPS

Source: The Simple Delights

These were blowing UP on Pinterest a few weeks ago. If you haven’t tried them out, enjoy!

Baked Egg Cups

12 Eggs

12 thin slices of deli ham (round)

1/2 Cup of your favorite cheese (I used Parmesan)

1/2 Cup diced scallions

Fresh cracked Sea Salt and Pepper

Preheat the oven to 400.  Spray a muffin tin with cooking spray.  Lay a piece of ham in each hole creating a little ham cup.  Crack one egg into each hole and sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Bake the eggs for about 12 minutes…until the white is firm and the yolk is still nice and runny. Carefully remove each egg from the muffin tin and top with grated cheese and scallions.  Serve hot!  Yield: 12

Each cup is 100 calories and contains 17.6 grams of protein.

Source: The Simple Delights

And I will leave on a whimsical note. If you haven’t discovered the voice of Priscilla Ahn, please allow me to rectify that. This song isn’t a parody or risqué, it’s actually rather poignant and sweet.

“The Boobs Song,” by Priscilla Ahn

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About beyondbeansntators

Writer, cook, mother. Irreverent and joyful.
This entry was posted in Food, Weight Loss and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Get Yer Ya-Ya’s Out!

  1. Hi love your blog and liked it too. Do take a look at my blog too

  2. Eddie says:

    I can’t speak to the comfort of your bra, but your article is pretty funny. Also, I too recommend the recipe you gave out. Yummy.

  3. brandi says:

    Heard a new standard whereby to measure one’s possible life longevity. Rather than weight, BMI, or body fat percentage, one should merely take their height in inches and divide by 2. If your waist is larger than that number, it’s time to lose some weight.

    I found that interesting in a *lot* of respects. I for one think that BMI is a load of shit because it doesn’t into consideration anything but your height/weight, scales are not any indicator of health either and getting an accurate body fat percentage test is a crap shoot at best. But anyone with a measuring tape who knows how tall they are can essentially instantaneously assess whether they’re in a heart healthy weight or not.

    Boobs, boobs, I like boobs,
    see that gerbil? grab that too

    Sorry every time I read boobs my inner Slim Shady jumps right out.

    • Oh, I like that assessment! Agreed on BMI, especially since I’m barely 5 feet tall.

      Ahahaha, I will have that song stuck in my head the rest of the day. Here’s hoping I don’t sing it in front of my son.

      • brandi says:

        It’s stuck in my head already, I’d apologize but it’s all your fault.

        Being barely over 5′ myself, it’s certainly easy math. I also come in as healthy by that standard even though by my personal standard I’ve got a few pounds to lose

        The egg recipe looks very interesting and tres simple. I like the simple 😉 Did I ever share my crustless quiche recipe with you? Also simple and way better for the waist line that a regular quiche.

      • SUPER simple and a really good energy boost plus: CHEESE. You have NOT shared this recipe with me and I love quiche and would love one that doesn’t involve pastry crust!

  4. brandi says:

    You can find it here. Obviously, there are ways to lighten it further such as using all egg substitute and no egg. And fillers can be subbed too. I like to do a little extra cayenne and some mushrooms as well.

    http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=308291

  5. Tammy says:

    The egg cups look amazing! Guess what’s for breakfast tomorrow! Also, interesting what Brandi said about height/waist. Thank you for all your tips! Keep up the good work!

  6. lwbush says:

    I’ve loved Pricilla Ahn for a long time- and I like this song, especially the kazoo! The eggs sound amazing and will be tried – am I not following you on Pinterest yet? I need to remedy that if that’s the case. Anyway, have fun at DisneyWorld, and by the time we communicate again, I will have a spanking new son-in-law! Just call me disjointed today – it’s been one of those days.

    • I kept thinking of that song the whole time I was writing this. Such an amazing voice. And the kazoo!! I think you’re following me on PInterest? I think I’m following you? Haha!

      We will have a great time, I’m sure, and congrats on the new son-in-law!! Exciting!!

  7. lunabee34 says:

    OMG, yes to the strapless bra. I still haven’t one that’s quite, um, comfortable for the H set, but I at least found one that doesn’t fall off. So score! I am so cooking that egg cup. Possibly right now. 🙂

    • You know it’s strange (to me) that I have always felt larger breasted (to say the least) but I’ve never worn larger than a DD. I think they look bigger because I’m so short? But another of my friends that I rec’d this bra to told me she was a G (this bra only goes up to a DDD). It’s so hard to find bras when you’re bigger than a D, especially those that are comfortable!

      The egg cup is amazing and would pair nicely with a lovely glass of wine. 😉

  8. I’ve always been small breasted so mine is the opposite problem, but it’s amazing how many of the same gripes I have. I hate padding in finding a strapless that will stay up is nearly impossible. I may have to try this one out.

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